Monday, 31 March 2008

dear diary feb 10th 2001

So the children are back, sort of. It's both wonderful and terrible to see them when I know there is only so much I can do.

Sometimes I wish I had never let us all love each other as we do: perhaps this will cause us all more pain than if I had cared less.

Mrs. H talked about destroying myself if I put them first. And I said, What about the children?

They're already destroyed, she answered.


I still think of them as "my boys" ..

it's like "but Fran SAID I could have them, she SAID they were ours .. "

Ha ha .. but look how it turned out, that neither of us has them now.

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