It's easy enough to put men down. They're in charge and the world's a mess. They beat wives, rape children, commit most of the crimes, and start wars. BUT.I was reading through a comment on one of my other blogs, where a man said something about men not having anything to be proud of except their arrogance. I find that sad. And though there are many men I have little respect for, I don't lose hope in them entirely. There must be something more to them. They wouldn't be here if that weren't so.I look at women and see how amazing so many of them are. I think it is the struggle that does it. And I also see that those women seem to be more in touch with both their "feminine" and "masculine" qualities, are the ones who seem most completely human. Perhaps this is what men need to find: the balance between yin and yang. All that energy expended in trying to prove manhood in so many ways, when perhaps this is what prevents them from ever really finding the man within?
A man's gift is not
his penis, strength, land, weapons.
It's within, unwrapped.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
Why the world needs clowns.
Have I said already how much I love being a clown? Apart from the fun of performing, dressing up, shopping, and making people laugh, I really like the philosophy behind therapeutic clowning. It's being gentle AND strong, and being vulnerable without being a doormat. I'm not sure about circus clowns, who I seem to recall getting quite boisterous with each other, but as a hospital clown, an important part of our clown characters is a certain purity and innocence that will not allow us to hurt anyone's feelings, even each others.
So when I came across the following bit of writing, it struck me that it sums up so nicely what a good clown is. We need more red noses in this world.
"People who feel good about themselves do not exploit others and are not available for exploitation. People who feel good about themselves, far from exhausting or trying the patience of their acquaintances, exhibit a veritable feast of exciting, appealing characteristics that other human beings tend to find irresistible. People who are self-accepting
.. laugh
.. listen
.. do not exploit others for their gratification
.. have energy
.. are more creative than people who hold themselves in low esteem
.. are tolerant of the changing moods of others
.. learn to live with what they cannot change
.. exude enthusiasm
.. project confidence
.. exult in the successes of their friends without feeling competitive or threatened
.. are sensitive to the needs of others
.. take appropriate risks
.. risk failure in order to find out what they have the right stuff for
.. often have an intriguing sense of depth or mystery about them
.. do not pretend to have all the answers
.. are realistically optimistic
.. do not ridicule the helpless or humiliate the weak
.. tend to make people they spend time with feel good about themselves
.. enjoy helping others and working to develop a sense of community
.. have a sense of purpose and develop the sense of a special mission in life
.. are able to turn their mistakes into lessons and begin anew.
Don't kid yourself; even people who exhibit most, if not all, of the above characteristics suffer periods of despair, disappointment and depression. Bad things do happen to good people, even those with a healthy sense of self-worth. But such people rebound."
- from "Why Love is not Enough" by Sol Gordon, PhD.
So when I came across the following bit of writing, it struck me that it sums up so nicely what a good clown is. We need more red noses in this world.
"People who feel good about themselves do not exploit others and are not available for exploitation. People who feel good about themselves, far from exhausting or trying the patience of their acquaintances, exhibit a veritable feast of exciting, appealing characteristics that other human beings tend to find irresistible. People who are self-accepting
.. laugh
.. listen
.. do not exploit others for their gratification
.. have energy
.. are more creative than people who hold themselves in low esteem
.. are tolerant of the changing moods of others
.. learn to live with what they cannot change
.. exude enthusiasm
.. project confidence
.. exult in the successes of their friends without feeling competitive or threatened
.. are sensitive to the needs of others
.. take appropriate risks
.. risk failure in order to find out what they have the right stuff for
.. often have an intriguing sense of depth or mystery about them
.. do not pretend to have all the answers
.. are realistically optimistic
.. do not ridicule the helpless or humiliate the weak
.. tend to make people they spend time with feel good about themselves
.. enjoy helping others and working to develop a sense of community
.. have a sense of purpose and develop the sense of a special mission in life
.. are able to turn their mistakes into lessons and begin anew.
Don't kid yourself; even people who exhibit most, if not all, of the above characteristics suffer periods of despair, disappointment and depression. Bad things do happen to good people, even those with a healthy sense of self-worth. But such people rebound."
- from "Why Love is not Enough" by Sol Gordon, PhD.
Monday, 21 May 2007
Germ-ridden Gladys stays home.
They will miss Gladys tomorrow. No clowning for me tomorrow as I am unwell. Another reason to love clowning. Back in the days of advertising, I could have 104 degrees temperature but the boss would still insist on my coming in to work. (Unless I came in without her insisting, in which case she would insist that I went home.)
But we clowns are specifically asked NOT to work when we're sick, even if "sick" is just a cold, cough or sore throat. Because we can't take chances with passing on any germs to little kids who are already sick.
I wish people who go visit other people in hospital would do the same. I know people who'll go with great runny noses and wheezy coughs, to see newborn babies and yes .. horror of horrors, actually hold the little thing in their arms and kiss it. Little newborn babies! Those sweet little squally things with practically no immune system yet! That's nearly manslaughter! But well-meaning manslaughter. All in the name of love. All in a day's work for this human race that hasn't quite figured out what love really is. Thank God I'm a clown. We know. Or we're supposed to know, at any rate. But then, I'm only a clown part of the time. Does that make me a half-breed clown?
But we clowns are specifically asked NOT to work when we're sick, even if "sick" is just a cold, cough or sore throat. Because we can't take chances with passing on any germs to little kids who are already sick.
I wish people who go visit other people in hospital would do the same. I know people who'll go with great runny noses and wheezy coughs, to see newborn babies and yes .. horror of horrors, actually hold the little thing in their arms and kiss it. Little newborn babies! Those sweet little squally things with practically no immune system yet! That's nearly manslaughter! But well-meaning manslaughter. All in the name of love. All in a day's work for this human race that hasn't quite figured out what love really is. Thank God I'm a clown. We know. Or we're supposed to know, at any rate. But then, I'm only a clown part of the time. Does that make me a half-breed clown?
Saturday, 12 May 2007
Clowning is serious work.
At first I thought it was "part-time". My goal is to perform three times a week and I thought that would be easy enough. But there's a bit more to it than I thought. I've discovered that there are three main aspects of clown work (four if you count the nap).
1. Hygiene
This is a Very Important aspect of hospital clowning. Before going to hospital, I have a headbath. Check nails are clean, clip if necessary, remove nail polish if necessary. Make sure EVERYTHING I take to the hospital (clown costume, bag, shoes, props) is clean, and wear a clean set of regular clothes. After I get back from hospital, there's more stuff to clean - throw all clothes - both the regular set I wore to and from, as well as my clown costume, towels, hair bands, socks, hats, cloth puppets or other cloth props - into the washing machine. Have ANOTHER headbath. While the laundry's being done, wash every prop - juggling balls, flutes, whatever, as well as make-up brushes. Wipe down bags, shoes, toiletries (cold cream, toner, talc, lotion) and make-up kit, with disinfectant. Scrub the soles of my clown shoes with hot soapy water (hospital floors have GERMS). By the time I'm done with it, the laundry's done and I put it out to dry. Later, I must steam iron my clown costume, and then put everything away in its place, usually wrapped in plastic packets (oh yeah, I rinse the plastic packets too!) and then I'm all set for my next Clown Rounds.
2. Practice
Although a lot of our clowning is based on improvisation, it makes a huge difference to have a set of well-tuned technical skills. The skills I use (or plan to use) are juggling, puppetry, music and song, and storytelling. So at least half an hour of juggling practice every day. Sing scales to keep my voice fit. Practise singing and learning lullabies (for when we go to neo-natal to visit the little babies). Practice scales on my recorder, melodica and flute - all three wind instruments (well the melodica is a reed instrument like the accordion and harmonica - but you blow into it to make sound) and also learn and practise suitable tunes and songs to play on them. These include familiar children's songs like nursery rhymes, but also Hindi film music. A lot of the children in the hospitals I visit speak primarily in Tamil, Urdu or Kannada - so I try to incorporate Hindi pop music - bouncy stuff, or sweet old classics like lori's (pronounced loh-ree .. Urdu for lullaby) by Lata Mangeshkar. I haven't yet begun working on my puppetry and story-telling, but for now the music, song and juggling practice is something I try to do every day. I also work on developing skits or props, but don't set aside a specific time for that, just do that as it comes to me.
3. Performance
If I've taken care of all the stuff in Hygiene, then this starts with loading up and driving over to hospital. If possible, have a word with the staff about patients (find out if there are any special cases, e.g. pre-op - who might be afraid and need some reassurance; or post-op - who might be in pain and could do with some light relief but perhaps not boisterous loud clowning). Then disappear into the doctors or nurses changing room and get dressed, put on make-up and accessories. Sometimes we may pick a theme to use as a guideline - e.g. today let's be Bollywood film producers, out to make a movie; today we are searching for a lost elephant; today we are doctors;) - that can help in giving some direction to our improv - but of course, it's ultimately up to what we find waiting for us when we step out as clowns. After the performance is over, we head on back, change back into regular human beings, and walk quietly out of the hospital. Although parents and staff recognise us, the children never seem to connect these normal, serious-faced people with the clowns who only a while ago were making them giggle and smile. I love that. They BELIEVE. Too bad grown-ups lose that incredible talent. Then it's back home to more Hygiene stuff.
4. The Nap
Don't laugh. Clowning can be exhausting. Post clowning, a hearty meal is required, followed by a nice long nap. It helps that most hospital clowning is done in the mornings (after doctors finish their rounds) so this means the nap is usually an afternoon nap, one of the most delightful category of naps known to humankind. And clownkind.
And there you have it, people. My clown job description.
1. Hygiene
This is a Very Important aspect of hospital clowning. Before going to hospital, I have a headbath. Check nails are clean, clip if necessary, remove nail polish if necessary. Make sure EVERYTHING I take to the hospital (clown costume, bag, shoes, props) is clean, and wear a clean set of regular clothes. After I get back from hospital, there's more stuff to clean - throw all clothes - both the regular set I wore to and from, as well as my clown costume, towels, hair bands, socks, hats, cloth puppets or other cloth props - into the washing machine. Have ANOTHER headbath. While the laundry's being done, wash every prop - juggling balls, flutes, whatever, as well as make-up brushes. Wipe down bags, shoes, toiletries (cold cream, toner, talc, lotion) and make-up kit, with disinfectant. Scrub the soles of my clown shoes with hot soapy water (hospital floors have GERMS). By the time I'm done with it, the laundry's done and I put it out to dry. Later, I must steam iron my clown costume, and then put everything away in its place, usually wrapped in plastic packets (oh yeah, I rinse the plastic packets too!) and then I'm all set for my next Clown Rounds.
2. Practice
Although a lot of our clowning is based on improvisation, it makes a huge difference to have a set of well-tuned technical skills. The skills I use (or plan to use) are juggling, puppetry, music and song, and storytelling. So at least half an hour of juggling practice every day. Sing scales to keep my voice fit. Practise singing and learning lullabies (for when we go to neo-natal to visit the little babies). Practice scales on my recorder, melodica and flute - all three wind instruments (well the melodica is a reed instrument like the accordion and harmonica - but you blow into it to make sound) and also learn and practise suitable tunes and songs to play on them. These include familiar children's songs like nursery rhymes, but also Hindi film music. A lot of the children in the hospitals I visit speak primarily in Tamil, Urdu or Kannada - so I try to incorporate Hindi pop music - bouncy stuff, or sweet old classics like lori's (pronounced loh-ree .. Urdu for lullaby) by Lata Mangeshkar. I haven't yet begun working on my puppetry and story-telling, but for now the music, song and juggling practice is something I try to do every day. I also work on developing skits or props, but don't set aside a specific time for that, just do that as it comes to me.
3. Performance
If I've taken care of all the stuff in Hygiene, then this starts with loading up and driving over to hospital. If possible, have a word with the staff about patients (find out if there are any special cases, e.g. pre-op - who might be afraid and need some reassurance; or post-op - who might be in pain and could do with some light relief but perhaps not boisterous loud clowning). Then disappear into the doctors or nurses changing room and get dressed, put on make-up and accessories. Sometimes we may pick a theme to use as a guideline - e.g. today let's be Bollywood film producers, out to make a movie; today we are searching for a lost elephant; today we are doctors;) - that can help in giving some direction to our improv - but of course, it's ultimately up to what we find waiting for us when we step out as clowns. After the performance is over, we head on back, change back into regular human beings, and walk quietly out of the hospital. Although parents and staff recognise us, the children never seem to connect these normal, serious-faced people with the clowns who only a while ago were making them giggle and smile. I love that. They BELIEVE. Too bad grown-ups lose that incredible talent. Then it's back home to more Hygiene stuff.
4. The Nap
Don't laugh. Clowning can be exhausting. Post clowning, a hearty meal is required, followed by a nice long nap. It helps that most hospital clowning is done in the mornings (after doctors finish their rounds) so this means the nap is usually an afternoon nap, one of the most delightful category of naps known to humankind. And clownkind.
And there you have it, people. My clown job description.
Thursday, 10 May 2007
One fine day at St. Philomena's.
First day at St Philomena's.
Miss - sorry MRS.- Rose and Gladys got off to a good start when they found a poor ailing banana who wasn't peeling well, right there in the doctors' changing room. There was a nice bed in the room, so after giving Mr. Banana a once-over with the stethoscope, they tucked him in and left him to rest.
First stop was the neo-natal ward, where the little preemies got their first taste (well sound) of French lullabies. And then onward and upward to the pediatric wards. On the way Miss Rose came upon a bunch of gloves just hanging around listlessly. 3 whole rows of them. Realising that these poor flaccid souls were in urgent need of medical attention, she gave them some music therapy, while Gladys taught them some finger physiotherapy.
On the way to the wards, Mrs. Rose stopped for an impromptu magic show. Meanwhile Mamu's driver Kishore showed up so Gladys hurried him off to the transporter room so that he could deliver Mamu asap.
And then the three went about making noise and bubbles and all sorts of antics - one of the highlights was when Gladys, looking peakish, had to lie down and Mrs. Rose took out her humongous rectal thermometer ...
Much love and laughter dispensed. Plenty of smiles all around, and one little toddler followed them about, actually guffawing with laughter. (Not a common sight, guffawing toddlers. Giggling, maybe, but guffawing quite a rare sight even for clown ornithologists). Even a crotchety cleaning lady ended up with a smile on her face, and another actually got into the act, twirling Gladys about to "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai".
Finally back in the doctors' changing room, Mamu was safely locked in the toilet for about a month while Gladys and Mrs. Rose got changed. One last check on Mr. Banana, who was looking quite rested after his peaceful nap in the doctors' bed. He's sure to have been peeling well by the afternoon.
Happy patients. Smiling nurses. Bemused passers-by. Sleeping banana. A day well spent, a job well done. And so to lunch! Exit the clowns.
Miss - sorry MRS.- Rose and Gladys got off to a good start when they found a poor ailing banana who wasn't peeling well, right there in the doctors' changing room. There was a nice bed in the room, so after giving Mr. Banana a once-over with the stethoscope, they tucked him in and left him to rest.
First stop was the neo-natal ward, where the little preemies got their first taste (well sound) of French lullabies. And then onward and upward to the pediatric wards. On the way Miss Rose came upon a bunch of gloves just hanging around listlessly. 3 whole rows of them. Realising that these poor flaccid souls were in urgent need of medical attention, she gave them some music therapy, while Gladys taught them some finger physiotherapy.
On the way to the wards, Mrs. Rose stopped for an impromptu magic show. Meanwhile Mamu's driver Kishore showed up so Gladys hurried him off to the transporter room so that he could deliver Mamu asap.
And then the three went about making noise and bubbles and all sorts of antics - one of the highlights was when Gladys, looking peakish, had to lie down and Mrs. Rose took out her humongous rectal thermometer ...
Much love and laughter dispensed. Plenty of smiles all around, and one little toddler followed them about, actually guffawing with laughter. (Not a common sight, guffawing toddlers. Giggling, maybe, but guffawing quite a rare sight even for clown ornithologists). Even a crotchety cleaning lady ended up with a smile on her face, and another actually got into the act, twirling Gladys about to "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai".
Finally back in the doctors' changing room, Mamu was safely locked in the toilet for about a month while Gladys and Mrs. Rose got changed. One last check on Mr. Banana, who was looking quite rested after his peaceful nap in the doctors' bed. He's sure to have been peeling well by the afternoon.
Happy patients. Smiling nurses. Bemused passers-by. Sleeping banana. A day well spent, a job well done. And so to lunch! Exit the clowns.
Tuesday, 8 May 2007
Red Nose Withdrawal Syndrome.
Still waiting and it's agony! I need to clown!! Desperately!!!
Manipal Hospital requires some paperwork, and Philomena's I've been to twice already. Last time I met the hospital director Dr Shankar and the Head of Pediatrics Dr Ranjan. I introduced them to dr. Gladys and they were both quite delighted to meet her. Gladys of course was not surprised.
"I 'ave this STRANGE effect on men," she says. "I seem to put them in some kind of trance and they just stare at me in AWE."
Can't argue with that, Gladys, although I'm not sure "awe" is exactly the word.
Well, we are nearly ready to start working at St Philomena's. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with the nursing superintendent Sister Germaine, and after that it should be all go. Can't wait!
Meanwhile dr. Rose should be back from Nepal by now and so clowny things should move quicker in general. And my lab coat, currently being stitched all over with applique flowers (to hide the ink stains .. the coat was a gift from an ex-med student), looks a bit odd. But odd is good, I suppose.
And this is all the news I have to post today. It's been more of a Warrior day than a Clown one.
Manipal Hospital requires some paperwork, and Philomena's I've been to twice already. Last time I met the hospital director Dr Shankar and the Head of Pediatrics Dr Ranjan. I introduced them to dr. Gladys and they were both quite delighted to meet her. Gladys of course was not surprised.
"I 'ave this STRANGE effect on men," she says. "I seem to put them in some kind of trance and they just stare at me in AWE."
Can't argue with that, Gladys, although I'm not sure "awe" is exactly the word.
Well, we are nearly ready to start working at St Philomena's. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with the nursing superintendent Sister Germaine, and after that it should be all go. Can't wait!
Meanwhile dr. Rose should be back from Nepal by now and so clowny things should move quicker in general. And my lab coat, currently being stitched all over with applique flowers (to hide the ink stains .. the coat was a gift from an ex-med student), looks a bit odd. But odd is good, I suppose.
And this is all the news I have to post today. It's been more of a Warrior day than a Clown one.
Friday, 4 May 2007
A new hospital on the cards!
Yesterday I went to St Philomena's Hospital and met Dr Rajeev, a paediatrician with a very endearing smile and twinkling eyes. (Gladys says there must be a clown in him or he wouldn't look that way.) I have to go back on Monday to meet the hospital's director and also the "HOD" (found out that means Head of Department). Once they give us the authorisation, we just have to finalise which day. Dr Rajeev suggested that 12 noon is a good time, as docs would have finished their rounds, and nurses would have got done with whatever the doctors have ordered. (Actually I think later on, once we're better established with the staff, they might PREFER us to come while the nurses are drawing blood etc. because there's nothing like a good clown to make such procedures fade away from a little kid's attention.)
Dr Rajeev showed me around the pediatric sections and now I'm terribly excited and looking forward to doing clown rounds there. They have a Level III neo-natal and Level II ICU, as well as one room with 4 beds downstairs. (I was delighted to see that he washed his hands after putting on his shoes again - you have to take them off before going into the ICU and neo-natal.) Upstairs right at the end of the B Ward corridor, are two more pediatric rooms that make up the general pediatric ward - each room with about 8 beds. I'll also get to clown all the way down the corridor going back downstairs, and finally, if we have any energy left, we could also pop in to pediatric OPD.
Now I must get things ready .. a new pair of trousers to crop and patch, fill up my clown case, finish up my puppets. The juggling .. sigh .. is still abyssmal .. but eternally optimistic, I have already invested in a set of plastic bowling pins so that I can soon also be abyssmal at that too.
Ah. How I love being a clown doctor. Especially the part where you don't have to spend four years in medical college and dissect dead people, but still get to have a white coat and stethoscope and use all the fancy terminology.
Dr Rajeev showed me around the pediatric sections and now I'm terribly excited and looking forward to doing clown rounds there. They have a Level III neo-natal and Level II ICU, as well as one room with 4 beds downstairs. (I was delighted to see that he washed his hands after putting on his shoes again - you have to take them off before going into the ICU and neo-natal.) Upstairs right at the end of the B Ward corridor, are two more pediatric rooms that make up the general pediatric ward - each room with about 8 beds. I'll also get to clown all the way down the corridor going back downstairs, and finally, if we have any energy left, we could also pop in to pediatric OPD.
Now I must get things ready .. a new pair of trousers to crop and patch, fill up my clown case, finish up my puppets. The juggling .. sigh .. is still abyssmal .. but eternally optimistic, I have already invested in a set of plastic bowling pins so that I can soon also be abyssmal at that too.
Ah. How I love being a clown doctor. Especially the part where you don't have to spend four years in medical college and dissect dead people, but still get to have a white coat and stethoscope and use all the fancy terminology.
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