Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Finding yourself.

India is the destination of choice for this. People always talk
about going to India to find themselves.  I was always quite chuffed
that, being Indian, I had a head start on all the other nationalities.
India really is a magical place. I'm not sure why. It's also a very
dirty, infuriating and corrupt place. But the magic is still there,
you just have to find it.

So yes, I packed my bags and came  home a decade ago. I had had enough of corporate life, and I had started looking within. If I was going to find me, India was the place to do it.

I've been here over ten years now, and it's only just dawned on me that in order to find yourself, you first have to get really really lost. Desperately, horribly, painfully, unfairly lost. (India's the place for that, too).

You don't just show up at Bombay airport and start anew. India hits you in the face - eyes, ears, skin and nose - upon arrival, and will keep on hitting for quite a while. In retrospect, I think it's supposed to be that way. You can't be found without
first being broken and scattered.

Don't worry. It will be worth it.

3 comments:

Barb Schanel said...

Indeed. We recently found our journals from 20+ years ago that talked extensively about sustainability, sustainability and a great many other topics that we are now acting on. In the interim: we attempted to start a religiously based community with some others that failed outright and left us penniless; we fell into a semi-nomadic life and were completely unsettled for years and years; I earned a bachelor's degree in sociology but decided that I did not want to work behind a desk, and we worked as national park rangers for two years. During that last two years we decided to stop running away and start coming back to the land. After making that decision we found those journals.

It can take a long time to find or re-find yourself. And you are absolutely right, it will be worth it.

P.S. I've wanted for some time to go to India, but perhaps I'll have to rely on you and my curry tree to give me what I would find there. :-)

aEiOu said...

@ Barb - I wonder if you realise how absolutely fascinating your life history sounds even summed up into one quick paragraph! Or how significant and valuable that little pronoun scattered throughout it, is. "We" - how incredible to have had all these adventures and life experiences, and be able to use that little word throughout.

Barb Schanel said...

I admit to feeling blessed by that "we".