(the things that save my life)
Dear Nazneen, I felt this way for so long myself, so I do not want to say trite things that do not really fix anything. I hope for you that one day you will be able to reconcile with the past and whether or not you reconcile with the family, I pray that a love for life, at least, will return. Peace.
Thanks Barb! And just to reassure you - the love for life hasn't gone anywhere :-) I've worked far too hard at staying alive to be so careless as to misplace it!!
So glad to know that!
Of late I've had some estrangement with members of my family too. So much so that when i even come across quotes on or about family I wince. In between I became hooked to this series on Star World called Modern Family. Well what I loved about the whole family thing in that series is about their sensitivity towards each other's feelings and their understanding. Now serials are fictions based on realities I believe. And it broke my heart to realise that we kept criticising them and glorifying our own when the truth is in our society I feel much of it is what we say in Hindi Dhakosla...farce. Too many formalities...no honesty...what will people say...blah blah. Thus my estrangement because all I want is honesty and understanding. Then now when things hurt and I begin to feel lonely I try and forgive them because it's there in the system too. They are family. Perhaps that's why they say blood is thicker than water. They might torture you...but if u r there and u see them in trouble...perhaps u might be the first one to go run after them to give them assistance in whichever way you can. Till then it's okay if u find peace to maintain some silence and a bit of distance. That's how I feel. My family tortures me too...at the drop of the hat. You are definitely not alone in this. Lastly thank you for your valuable insights on my last blog. Come now...see and maybe this one might lift ur spirits...can't vouch for it for I'm not that prolific but it surely has a different flavor than the last ' sad' one.
I often wonder when I read comments like the ones above, if people read too much into my words. I thought, maybe there's pain in there that I don't see somehow .. because you both talk of reconciliation and estrangement but neither of these apply to me (in fact the person who inspired this little verse is one of the people I love most in my life! I was just pissed off with him at the time for pushing me a little harder than I like to be!) But I think that perhaps when I, the writer, write, even if it's about me, when you the reader, read, the pain you see in the words is your own .. one of my friends once told me that when she reads my writing, it's like I say the things for her that she can't find the words to put down on paper .. is that it? What do you think?
I think there's a really strong possibility of that Nazneen. And in my case, right now, I'm actually feeling that pain for another person who is quite close to me rather than feeling the pain in myself.
Post a Comment