And so it came to pass ..

... like wind after beans. Audition at 10 a.m. Workshop session at 12. Red nose handed to me at 2 pm, March 6th 2007. What a moment. I felt like I'd been awarded the Padma Bhushan.

Driving to the audition that morning, my heart was all a-flutter. I found myself beaming at the road and the traffic, while "I'm going to be a clown!" kept dancing through my head. It was the same feeling I feel when I fall in love. Not that ALL the men I've fallen in love with were clowns. Au contraire. Some of them really didn't put many smiles on my face in the end. But this feeling today was so exhilarating - the feeling before you find out what a creep the man who rocks your boat really is - and even better: no nausea, no letdown, no yeast infections, no lies. (And best of all, it just gets better every day!)

Oh yes. Clowning is way better than falling in love. Clowning is about being true and sincere (well, hospital clowning .. I don't know about circus clowns which is a whole different scene). As a clown, I walk bow-legged because I choose to, not because I have to (oh dear what innuendos). Clowns wear bloomers not g-strings. Clowns are at their sexiest with baggy over (or under) sized clothes. High heels vs. clown shoes - no comparison. Of course, as a clown I do have to wear more make-up than I'm used to. But you can't have it all.

The audition was fun, though I was a bit nervous at first. I whipped out my recorder, fife and a strange instrument called a melodica (distant relative of the accordion) and proceeded to play quite badly. Then I grabbed my balls and showed the lady what I could do with them. Not much. I can juggle three balls but not too well. (Yes I have THREE balls. Multicoloured juggling balls. Actually I have SIX. Another clown vs romance advantage - all the balls you want, and you only play with them when you really want to).

Then I had to do a bit of acting and improvisation, fill out a form, listen, talk, and listen some more, and then on to my first workshop session DOT DOT DOT (yes another uninspiring cliffhanger).