Dissociation.

Grief's easy to find.
Joy's harder to come across.
Rage plays hide 'n' seek.

I've spent much of my life dodging emotions. The past few years I've been getting in touch with them again. The past few months I've been INUNDATED with them. My little boat floats safely enough, but all around me the seas are rough. It's easier to dissociate than to respond to bad news, but I'm trying to stay around this time, instead of disappearing into my head; I want to be here even though I don't want to be here.