At first glance, you may think it is depressing, but this poem is about hope. I think it is incredible that I was able to look ahead with hope at this point of my life, having gone through what I had.
Death doesn't scare me any more
I already know what hell is
And heaven may not be so good
But it'll be better than this
So this is life
Out of the hell of heroin
Suspended somewhere between then and now
Until I start again
Start living, start giving,
Stop lying, stop crying,
No more hate or despair
No lifeless body swinging in the air
Dreams coming back to life
Plans pulled out of the dust
'Cause when you want and need a future
You have to free the feelings you suppressed
I'm tired of their stares
And of all the sly, knowing grins
I'm sick of those dead eyes in my mirror
And bones barely veiled by my skin
But you have to cry before you can laugh
And you have to wade thro' the mire and stench
Before you can see the sparrows and smile ...
It just takes a little while.
Written on March 21, 1986, Friday, 8:58 pm. I was 20 years old.